Claustrophobia.

Slightly long. Trying to write out my feelings. Hah.

This is a new found joy for me. This claustrophobia thing. Just so you know.

I have always had a slight worry when flying or when riding an elevator. But now? Oh no...don't even think about getting me in a tunnel, tube, metro, subway, whatever-you-want-to-call-your-underground travel system anymore. I haven't been in a plane since I gave birth, but I have been in a scary tunnel, tube thing that travels quickly in a very dark space--the D.C. Metro.

I mentioned birth because my anxiety of closed spaces seemed to have gotten worse since I had Ethan. Can your mind change when you have babies? I know things rearrange themselves in other areas, but can my mind actually alter itself and suddenly give me a fear of confined spaces? I was fine riding in the tube all over Paris and London two years ago. Now, I am a maniac.

This is SO me: "Claustrophobics are not necessarily afraid of these areas themselves, but, rather, they fear what could happen to them should they become confined to an area."
I am not scared of a train thing...I am scared of what could happen. Could, if, what if, maybe...etc. Why do all of the what-ifs pop into my head? Do they pop into yours or am I the only insane one?

I think "Oh, geez what if this thing gets stuck and we are here, underground for 7 hours" like Oh, let's say these people:

http://www.thedailybeast.com/cheat-sheet/item/500-trapped-for-over-seven-hours-on-subway/blizzard/

Or, Oh...these people:

http://articles.cnn.com/2007-02-15/travel/passengers.stranded_1_jetblue-flights-passengers-flight-attendants?_s=PM:TRAVEL

No sir. No No No.

Let me tell you what happened. And let me say that it is nothing major really...just a big mentally draining experience for moi. We stayed in a city right outside D.C...about 10 miles away. There was a metro station 1 mile from our hotel. Oh, cool. So convinient, right? Wrong. We got there...as we were waiting for the thing to come, I started to get scared. Thinking to myself, Uh Oh..what if it gets stuck and we have the baby and there is no food or water or a place to change him? What if someone pulls a gun out and tried to kill us all? What if someone has a bomb strapped to their chest? etc. etc. etc. Neurotic. I know this.

We were moving forward fine. I was literally pretending like I was on the monerail at Disney World. No lie. I shut my eyes and pretended like I was going to see Minnie Mouse and eat a Mickey Mouse ice cream and ride Splash Mountain. Several stops later, there is an annoucement stating that there is a "TRACK MALFUNCTION" and there is going to be delays. Um no. Sudden fear crept up and I started to panic. If you don't have anxiety and/or panic attacks and/or crazy thoughts...consider yourself lucky, my friend.

Luckily it stopped at a station and the doors opened and they said we would be there, sitting still underground, smashed against hundreds of strangers mind you, for a little while. I told Ofir that we were getting off--didn't care where we were :)  We were about 6 stops before our destination. Haha. Woops. So, we walked and saw more of the city than expected.

We (and when I say WE, I mean Ofir) were planning on taking the Metro back to the hotel that evening. Nope. Couldn't do it. I pretty much had to mildly beg Ofir to not go back on. So, we took a $30 cab back and ending up driving into the city the rest of the trip.

Relieved not to go back in the Hell Hole of a Metro.

What's your fear?

The End.

Love,
Weird Fearful Girl Extraordinaire